Page 31 - Essex Mason Issue 85

General Interest

MASONIC by W.Bro Paul Palmer

s freemasonry celebrates 300 years, I’ve been reading a lot of interesting articles about
Awhat modern freemasonry looks like, and the diversity in our ranks spanning age,
ethnicity, belief, and disability. But what’s it like being a gay mason?

About nine years ago, I was sat at home with my proposer, while our then secretary introduced
himself, questioned me, and generally extolled the virtues of freemasonry. Amongst the highlights he
described, and I quote him verbatim, “once a year there’s a formal dinner-dance called a Ladies Night,
where your partner gets the opportunity to dress up in a nice sparkly ball gown”. This is still one of my
fondest memories and, as I recanted at my recent installation, while my partner can well afford a nice
sparkly ball gown, he just doesn’t have the legs for it!

That was the beginning of a wonderful, rewarding, and often very funny masonic career, as a member
of Nore Lodge No. 3610, in Southend on Sea. I don’t make an issue out of being gay, It doesn’t define
me, but it’s one of the many attributes (including being a Freemason) that contribute towards the whole
of who I am, my identity. However, what I didn’t expect in becoming a mason was just how much I
would be supported and accepted for every part of who I am, by every single brother I’ve met. I’ve also
experienced other masons “come out” to me having seen me being comfortable and open about myself.

During my entire journey, I’ve not had a single negative experience on the subject of sexual orientation. In fact it’s quite the
opposite. I’m consistently encouraged to up the ante with banter, to use innuendo liberally, and to be the best version of myself
possible. I tend to be good at striking up a rapport quickly, and being comfortable in myself and my own values means that you’re
getting the real me at all times. Even work gets a slightly watered down version, but I feel real freedom at lodge.

During meetings, it’s the little flourishes I add that seem to be received with the most gusto. Don’t get me wrong, I have no grand
designs on changing things or throwing away any traditions, but certainly enhancing and tweaking them where possible. For
example, during all of the festive boards of my year, I’ve simply been swapping out the usual blue napkins for hot-pink ones, while
the secretary has been invested with the pen of his office, which has a fluffy unicorn on the top - and of course there’s a fine for each
time it’s not presented with the minutes.

The most notable difference this year will be my take on a Ladies Night, which takes place on Saturday 22nd
September at Saxon Hall in Southend. The first change was simply renaming it as “Gala Night”. The running
order will be similar to what we’re all used to, but the entertainment won’t be your typical masonic band,
photography is being shaken up a little, the toasts & wine-takings have needed some rework, and there’ll even
be a surprise from the president himself. This promises to be a truly unique event in the masonic calendar, and
I would welcome any brother in the province (along with their family & friends) should they wish to get in touch.

At Nore, we also hold an annual Trafalgar Night on the second Saturday in October. The festive board is
themed around the Battle of Trafalgar and pays homage to Admiral Lord Nelson. Officers of the lodge wear
naval uniforms, whilst decanting beer & rum. There’s sea shanties to sing along to, a healthy dose of pomp &
circumstance, and a very loud cannon that we fire throughout the evening.

In recent years I’ve been involved with leading the brethren in song as well as delivering comedy sketches
between the courses. It’s a good outlet for someone who has a flair for the dramatic.

Outside of my own lodge however, one thing that has resonated with me recently is the publicity surrounding
the #EnoughIsEnough campaign, and particularly that the word “discrimination” is being used. While I was
relatively lucky growing up, I’ve witnessed discrimination all too often, and it’s still prevalent on social media - a
platform that entitles anyone to voice an opinion on a subject, irrespective of qualification. There’s absolute
synergy between “coming out” as gay and likewise as a Freemason, and that’s the unpredictability of how
people will react based on pre-conceived opinions.
It is, however, only through being ourselves - openly and honestly, will we fully realise acceptance and
understanding. Rejection in the face of authenticity will only highlight those who can’t or won’t be convinced
by rational debate on the subject.

But anyone treating any group in Want your say?
society less favourably due to its
unique characteristics should always send your views and comments to
be challenged. I have absolute pride magazine@essexmason.co.uk
in my freemasonry, as I do with other
parts of my life, and I’m sure you all "Subjects you would like to see covered
do too.
are...."
Now... I must be off. My partner
needs a nice sparkly waistcoat for
Gala Night! We can only improve if we know what
you want

Essex Mason would like to congratulate W.Bro Paul Palmer on his appointment to Provincial Grand Steward

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